On a recent Sunday afternoon, I joined a lawyer, a nail technician, and aeducator dedicating two hours of the weekend to learning a language that is not foreign to us. But it wasn’t a class for school credit. It was a six-week intermediate course for Spanish heritage speakers hosted online by Mil Mundos, a New York City’s Bushwick neighborhood bookstore.
The nail technician, Natalia Urbina, said while introducing herself to me and the other students that Spanish can be difficult for her to take out of her mouth, or “sacar lo de la Boca.” “Poco a poco te lo sacamos,” replied our instructor, Kairy Herrera-Espinoza. Little by little, we take it out.
Urbina explained more of what she meant in aafter class. “If I was in a situation where I needed to speak Spanish, and it was an about something important, I could do it,” she said. “But I don’t have it in my everyday life.“As a child of Nicaraguan immigrants who came to the U.S., she said she’s always been surrounded by the language at home, in addition to taking four years of high school Spanish.
When speaking with people in her neighborhood who are immigrants, Urbina feels embarrassed that she doesn’t speak Spanish as they do, so she sometimes ends up speaking in English, “which is annoying in itself.” “You supposed to sound like, and it’s like, mine doesn’t sound like that,” Urbina said. “You see how fluid Spanish is, and you feel so choppy.”
I can relate. When my Salvadoran mother talks to me in Spanish, I instinctively answer in English. Spanish stopped being my dominant language once I started attending school, and I am still self-conscious about my stumbling and limited vocabulary. I could only do interviews for this article about Spanish in meaning we can understand more of a language than we can speak of it.. Many Spanish heritage speakers like myself and Urbina are what researchers call “receptive bilinguals,”
Heritage Spanish programs recognize that Spanish is a U.S. language.
Stanford education professor Guadalupe Valdés has a widely known definition of heritage speakers: “individuals raised in homes where a language other than English is spoken and who are to some degree bilingual in English and the heritage language.”
Spanish heritage programs in the U.S. began in the 1970s as grassroots efforts and have boomed in the last two decades. One 2012 nationwide survey led by language development researcher Sara Beaudrie found that there were 163 Spanish heritage programs in postsecondary institutions across 26, D.C., a number 22% higher than a nationwide 2002 survey found.
Spanish heritage programs differ from the “travel Spanish” classes that students in the United States typically encounter in learning foreign languages. For one, they acknowledge that Spanish is a U.S. language, as the University of New Mexico makes a point to do in its heritage program.
“In [Spanish as a second language] textbooks … they’ll highlight everything but the U.S. That showsdoesn’t belong here,” said Damián Wilson, UNM’s Spanish as a Heritage Language program coordinator. “For us, very much highlighted that it is a U.S. language. It means that, yes, we might speak a of so-called Spanglish. We might say troca [for truck] or “bra instead of ” freno,” both meaning brakes.
In other words, a Spanish heritage course goesstudents to master the present-perfect tense for a study abroad trip; it affirms the evolving speech and debates that U.S.-based Spanish-speaking communities, not foreign language textbooks, actually talk about daily.
In the class offered by Mil Mundos, for example, weinfluences,” as Herrera-Espinoza described it. We discussed miscarriages of justice in the film “Presunto Culpable,” the anti-Blackness that Gina Torres has faced in her acting career, and Ciguapa. Sometimes, students . Herrera-Espinoza, who uses they/them pronouns, would then translate what each person meant in Spanish, deftly keeping the conversation moving.
Keeping up the flow of discussion is a strategy that Herrera-Espinoza’s students appreciate. “They’re talking a mile a minute, and they make it very accessible because they repeat themselves a lot,” said Jo Valdés, a student who uses a lowercase first name and has taken at least five of Herrera-Espinoza’s classes. “Instead of slowing down, they’ll use Spanglish so understood.”
Herrera-Espinoza, who developed the Spanish heritage courses at Mil Mundos, said they saw a need for the classes after a Puerto Rican student dropped out of an earlier foreign-language style, citing theanxiety of being the only Puerto Rican among a bunch of students who were learning Spanish for the first time. This resonated, they said, because they’ve seen how Spanish can be “the language that perhaps you were reprimanded in, a language that is emotional but also painful, and it’s difficult to unpack that in a room with people who might not understand what you’re saying.”
Indeed, heritage speakers can experience alienation not only in foreign-language classes that don’t validate their lived experiences but also from their families and friends daily. “When I try to talk to my mom [in Spanish], she’ll constantly correct me, switch to English, or make fun of how I say something, and that has a permeating influence,” said Valdés, whose mother is from the Dominican Republic. “In thisof classes, it’s been particularly nice to speak Spanish with people who sound like me. The goal is to talk, move past that discomfort, and find yourself in a safe space to let stuff come up.”
Taking heritage classes improved thewho grew up surrounded by the language but was not encouraged to speak it. “When you have this that is constantly suppressed in you … I think that getting to open that vault has allowed more air into my lungs,” they said. “I feel like there is more fluidity in how I think about the world.”
“You’ll have these receptive learners … in these families where Spanish gets used often, and they feel isolated,” Wilson explained. “They might even havetease them. In their minds, everybody around them is an amazing speaker, so they end up feeling personally defective. They don’t at the level of our society.”
For Wilson, who identifies as a Spanish heritage speaker himself, one of the most powerful parts of a heritage program is that heritage speakers gather in a room and can see their common experiences. Take it from Victoria Peña-Parr, who experienced this personally. Once a Spanish heritageof New Mexico, she teaches beginner-level heritage classes there. “He started off the class with: ‘You not knowing Spanish is not your fault.’”
Peña-Parr said her mother consciously chose not toher native language of Spanish because she wanted them to have “easier lives” in a country that valued English. When Peña-Parr joined her first heritage class as a freshman in college, she finally felt accepted. “Our teacher started the class with, ‘You do not know Spanish is not your fault,’” she said. “For many Mexicans, Chicanos, Chicanas — I identify as a Chicana — there is this idea that you have to speak Spanish, and if you don’t, then you’re not a ‘real Mexican.’ Because of that, it was a relief off my shoulders. My identity had been invalidated for so long, and now I’m in a classroom where I feel validated as a student.”
Peña-Parr said language abandonment is mostly a result of generational trauma. People grew up dealing with societal pressure to assimilate into the U.S. and abandon Spanish or to make it a secret language only spoken in the house. They then passed these ideas down to the next generation. Wilson noted that this often happens because speakers believe their children will have better without a Spanish accent.
Severalin Spanish was not just for personal growth but for their jobs. Valdés, for example, said they plan to take a private class with Herrera-Espinoza as they train to become an intimacy coordinator. “I important for me to think about as someone who has this language capacity, to refine it, to perfect it, so if I do choose to speak in a context with only Spanish speakers, I’m not relying on my Google translate,” Valdés said.
Taking a Spanish heritage class can transform family relationships, too. Valdés said their Cuban father died from “a clusterfuck of COVID and cancer and heart failure.” Still, because of Herrera Espinoza’s classes, they could practice with him while he was sick: “I had some of the longest conversations in Spanish that I have ever held with him in my life.”
Valdés was also tasked with communicating hospital updates about their father to family in Cuba. “I remember saying multiple times, ‘I’m so fucking glad I took that class,’ because all of a sudden I needed to get comfortable communicating with my family.” Valdés grew closer to their family as a result. “A lot of why there was so much distance there was because of the language barrier that doesn’t exist in the same way anymore,” they said.
Fluency is a lifelong journey that heritage speakers get to define on their terms.
At what point do you become fluent in Spanish if you’re a heritage speaker? There is no shared consensus. Some languageheritage learners as “incomplete acquirers” because of the formal grammar they did not learn growing up. However, other critics argue that this terminology is an insensitive, inaccurate label that doesn’t recognize the differences in how language is acquired. “Spanish fluency is an informal construct based entirely on one’s confidence to speak.”
But Spanish heritagea glass-half-full approach that celebrates the cultural competency heritage learners already do have. For Wilson, fluency is not a binary category with a cutoff point at which someone is suddenly fluent or not; it’s more about “getting to realize what areas they want to improve in.” Herrera-Espinoza told me it’s about confidence.
“I don’t think that fluency has anything to with literacy, especially when weisn’t able to pursue a formal education, so a lot of the Spanish that we do know and that we’ve been raised with is informal,” they said. “I would say that Spanish fluency is an informal construct that is based entirely on one’s confidence to speak.“
Using confidence as a barometer for fluency resonated with me. I took decades of foreign-language Spanish classes, but the Spanish-language heritage class I signed up for inSpanish. And even then, it was tough. I remember that I was too shy in the beginning to raise my hand, a characterization that my when I called her. I told her I felt guilty for letting my Spanish lapse in the ensuing years.
In response, she gave me a pep talk that may be helpful to other heritage speakers. “You can recapture it. It ebbs and flows. Language is elastic; it’s, not static, even though the world tries to tell us otherwise,” Cepeda told me. “People get very rigid in their ideas about language, and those language ideologies affect us all, and they came to bear on you, and they come to bear on most of the students. I feel like so much of the work of heritage speakers’ teaching is undoing these ideologies and linguistic and cultural baggage.”
Cepeda said she believes in a definition of bilingualism centered on whether you can “get your needs met” in that language. These confidence-boosting answers helped me reflect on what I still could do. I made some of my interview requests in Spanish, and even though participating with intermediate-level students in an icebreaker that required us toand a lie in Spanish had me sweating, I still did it. There were always moments of progress and restarts I could take pride in if I were willing to see them. Or, as Valdés put it to me, “Once you lose that pena [shame], once you’re like, ‘I don’t care,’ and just talk, it’s really powerful.”